The phrase "water over dam" is spelled with the letter "r" in between "water" and "over" even though it's often pronounced as "watter over dam" without the "r" sound. This spelling follows the usual pronunciation rule for "r" after a vowel sound, as in "water" pronounced as /ˈwɔːtər/. In American English, the "t" in "water" becomes a flap sound, written as /ɾ/, which can make it sound like "wadder". But the correct spelling remains with the letter "r".
The term "water over dam" is an idiomatic expression used to convey the notion that a certain event or situation has already occurred and cannot be changed or reversed, therefore, it is better to accept and move on from it. Picture the image of water cascading over a dam, once the water has passed over the dam, there is no way to gather it back up or redirect its flow. Similarly, when using the phrase, it suggests that the past event cannot be altered, so it is more productive to acknowledge it and focus on the present or future.
The phrase often implies letting go of past regrets, mistakes, or missed opportunities as a means of personal growth and emotional well-being. It relates to accepting the consequences of one's actions or decisions and understanding that dwelling on the past will not change what has already transpired. Instead, it encourages individuals to concentrate their energy and attention on the present moment or the future, making the most of the opportunities that lie ahead.
In a broader sense, "water over dam" can also be used to advise people not to hold grudges or harbor negative feelings towards others due to past conflicts. It suggests that it is healthier and more beneficial to forgive, forget, and move on, rather than allowing past grievances to hinder personal growth, relationships, or progress.