The correct spelling of the phrase "laying the grave" is [leɪɪŋ ðə greɪv]. The first word is spelled with an "a" not an "e" because it is the present participle form of the verb "to lay" ([leɪ]). The second word is spelled with an "a" not an "e" because it refers to the burial site, not the act of being sad or serious ([greɪv]). It is important to use the correct spelling in order to avoid confusion or incorrect interpretation of the message.